V, Me and We

From the last couple of weeks, all my whatsapp messages, well most of them, have been about the fever of Valentine’s Day. People have been going on and on about rose day, teddy day, chocolate day and all such mushy mushy things that are usually connected with the heart-shaped emotion. So in the spirit of the season, here is a revisit to those special memories:

First Meeting. It was a formal affair, very formal. I went to meet V thinking of it as an interview for a job which I did not want (just a way to calm my nerves really). The first thing that I noticed was the eyes – those penetrating eyes. After that it was all a blur, in short I don’t remember much except that we spoke about Harry Potter books over a fruit punch and that I liked the way he used his fork and knife while having lunch. And just after those few minutes, under the prying eyes of a dozen, we had to make a decision. I have spent a longer time deciding whether to buy a dress or not.

First Date. The very next day (only after completing all the rituals and customs of being engaged) we met again to watch a movie. I can never forget the step in his stride and the twinkle in his eyes as we got the tickets and the first time he held my hand to get me on an escalator (I had never got on an escalator before as I was scared). The movie was good, both of us were re-watching RDB so knew what to expect. But what happened after the movie was completely unexpected for me as we went to have dinner. Sitting in the open with the views of the lake, V spoke and he spoke his heart. There was so much honesty and sincerity in his promises that all my fear of the unknown completely vanished, just like that and I knew that this would prove to be the best decision of my life.

First Kiss. It was V’s birthday a couple of weeks after we met and I couldn’t think of a better gift. It happened in a car after we returned from our romantic candle lit dinner. First Night. Was a memorable one indeed; full of flowers, sneezing, Calvin and Hobbs, college record book, and more sneezing! First Holiday. It was a great opportunity to spend time to get to know each other more closely. A side note – our hotel room only had two doors, one for the entrance and the other for a balcony. First Birthday. V gave me the best gift I could have asked for – he wrote me a letter, which is one of my most prized possession till date. First Valentine. The most romantic thing that I have ever done for V was to write him a poem, the words which sound true even after 7 years:

Valuable things accompanied, as you walked into my seeking existence,
Igniting spark and spirit within, which otherwise burned in a distance.
Keyed in with perfect harmony, fulfilled all my unknown alien wants,
Raison d'être is your unconditional love, for my inescapable response.
A steady base now laid of relationship, peaceful future is what I dream,
My love promises to be by your side, whatever way the winds may lean.

People say that the initial excitement of a new relationship is bound to diminish, sooner or later. So after all the exciting Firsts I too was waiting for the dreaded day when I no longer felt thrilled, when monotony would sneak in and when every day became like any other day – in short for the 7 year itch. 

Thankfully the itch hasn’t kicked in yet and it’s all because of V: who writes me a 'good morning' email every day without fail, who calls me so many times a day for no particular reason, who never forgets to do anything that I ask of him, who always greets me with a smile when I open the door in the evening, who happily allows me to use his shoulders as my pillow night after night and who writes cute little poems to soothe my silly temper. But most importantly, who makes such a huge difference in my life just by being in it!

Sab kuch khuda se maang liya us ko maang kar,

Uthte nahi hai haath mere ab is dua ke baad.

Turkey No. 28

Istanbul, perhaps one of the oldest city in the world, delivered all that it promised and much more.

The first thing that strikes you is its vastness. Only later did I learn, courtesy my Vikipedia, that it is the second largest city in the world with a population of 14 million (first being Shanghai – no surprises there). Leaving all the economic stats to V, I concentrated on the historic part of the city and soaked in the old-city charm that Istanbul had, in plenty, to offer.

A few highlights of our trip:

Standing in Europe I watched Asia. I found the bridge that connected the two continents to be really fascinating

Seeing the staff of Moses and the beard hair of the Prophet at the Topkapi palace. V was more interested in seeing the Harem but returned disappointed!

 

Feeling a sense of serenity amidst the underground forest of columns (standing in water) – the dim lighting and the haunting Turkish music added to the scene. Dark, cold, wet, but still a place to be

Visiting the Blue mosque with its stunning interiors. The tiles on the dome were transformed in to HD quality once I put my glasses on

Shopping (window) at the Grand Bazaar. It’s a chaotic but colourful display of similar kind of merchandises, one shop after the other – catering to the dollar and euro spenders. It was fun exploring the market, which was surprisingly very clean

Listening to the most beautiful Azan, while sitting in the central square (between the Blue Mosque and the Hagia Sophia) in the evening. It makes you stop doing whatever you are doing and just fills you up with a sense of tranquillity

 

Watching the whirling Dervish perform in a state of trance. It is a spiritual experience for the Dervish, but sadly been reduced to a tourist attraction. Nevertheless, it is unbelievable to see them spin continuously, defying all rules of equilibrium

 

Eating all the local delicacies. I am no foodie but I thoroughly enjoyed my food and drink. The only annoying thing was the shouts of ‘Shahrukh Khan’, ‘Shahrukh Khan’ each time we passed a touristy eating place!

 

Smoking nargile. My first go at shisha and I thoroughly enjoyed it.  The place was filled with young locals and was a perfect place to relax and unwind

 

Staying in a room that had a huge mirror instead of a chandelier, dot, dot, dot

My favourite things – a) Travelling

Saying that I LOVE to travel will be quite an understatement. In a way, an obstinate bug has bitten me and, thankfully, V has not been able to find an antidote for it, just yet. I can only hope that it’s an incurable thing because I want to be infected with it for the rest of my life! I feel as if there is a whole world out there waiting for me, flaunting its beauty, offering to mesmerise me with its charm and inviting me to be a part of its adventure.

My perception of travelling has totally changed in the last few years. Initially, when we went for holidays we behaved like pukka tourist – having our own ‘to-see-do-list’ and ticking things off as we went about following our well-planned and ever so precise itinerary. But then I realised that that’s not what travelling should be about.

Now I want my travels to be about what I SEE rather than what I had planned to see! As I think about my past trips, it’s not the must-see wonders that I remember, instead it’s the accidental things, events that were not expected and experiences that could not have been planned.

Like walking the rain-soaked streets of a historic city in heavy downpour, like the touch of warm sunlight way above the snow-covered peaks, like sipping mint tea while seeing the world's biggest open air festival unfold, like being lost -at night with luggage- in a non-English speaking city, like driving around an island and deciding on our retirement home, like having a DDLJ kind of moment at a train station,  like falling in love with the same person all over again, like seeing the same sky and the same sun and still feel completely different, like being far away from home and still feel a sense of belonging.

But do I really need to get away from everything familiar? Can I not have these experiences in the very city that I live? Probably not. Because it is important to go away in order to come back – I am then more appreciative of what I have. And the new found reverence for the pillow is just magical. The mundane things - the all too familiar roads, landmarks, people, home, bed, dal-chaawal - they all look, sound, feel, smell and taste different. As if I always come back with all my senses rejuvenated.

I know that I will always come back to the same place from where I start – like a circle - but it’s not the same thing as never leaving, is it? Therefore I want to keep travelling and keep creating new memories as I go round and round. The memories that will bring a smile to my face when I am down in the dumps, the memories that will teach me to be strong in difficult times, the memories that will remind me of how happy I can be and the memories that will allow me to time-travel to relive all the beautiful moments again and again.

A new beginning

A new year has started and has started well. As is the norm, people make all sorts of resolutions on this occasion and so have I – to write more often. It is also true that most of these ‘to do lists’ have a shelf-life of a couple of January weeks – so let’s see how long I can keep it up.

As it is supposed to be a fresh start – a need for a new blog arose and with it came the important question of a blog name. My initial thought was to tag it as ‘I have a happy happy life’ – not that my life is devoid of disappointments and hardships, but rather because I wanted to focus on the cheerful happenings in my life, which are in plenty. 

My chosen name was vetoed down by V, who then suggested the name ‘Frog in the well’ because that’s what I was for the majority of my life before I moved to this country, which I now call home. My first reaction was that of denial and outright rejection, but having slept on it for a couple of days I realised that it perfectly sums up my life. I was indeed a frog in the well for the initial years of my life and then it all changed – the frog took a leap!

The leap was not planned nor was it initiated by me. It was all thanks to V who detached me from my comfort zone and brought me to a new world, which was completely different from anything that I had ever seen before. And it has been one hell of a roller-coaster ride with its fair share of ups and downs.

It has been seven years, seven amazing years in which I got to rediscover myself and my beliefs. I feel as if I had the opportunity to grow up twice – once back in India and then again in this country. It was like starting everything afresh, taking one step at a time to adapt to a new way of life or should I say to life itself!

In this blog I plan to record my journey, my learning’s, my beliefs and my experiences – not for the world to read but rather for myself, so that if I ever forget the good times and opportunities that I have had in life – this blog would remind me of how lucky I am.